You’ve achieved the goals you set for yourself. You’ve checked all the boxes that society says lead to a happy and successful life. Your life looks great on paper and maybe even on Instagram. Career, house, relationship. Check. Check. Check.

But despite all of those outward accomplishments and despite having many parts of your life that you absolutely love, there’s something inside of you that doesn’t feel fulfilled. You’re wondering, “Is this all there is?”

If you’ve ever felt that disconnect of being outwardly successful but not feeling fulfilled, you’re not alone. And it affects more people than you might think. Understanding why this happens, recognizing that it’s perfectly normal, and knowing what you can do about it are crucial steps in pivoting your life to one that’s happier and more fulfilling.

Why Success Doesn’t Always Equal Happiness

We’re taught that success leads to happiness. But for many people, that’s simply not true. Whether you’re experiencing this yourself or you’ve seen a loved one or colleague go through it, the disconnect between achievement and fulfillment is real and pervasive.

I’ve experienced this myself. When I published my first book – a lifelong dream – it was a huge accomplishment. The initial excitement and euphoria of achieving this goal were undeniable. However, after the initial high faded, I realized that this major milestone didn’t fundamentally change how I felt about myself or my life. It was a powerful reminder that external achievements don’t automatically translate to inner fulfillment.

Two Overarching Sources of Feeling Unfulfilled In Life

The disconnect between success and happiness typically stems from two primary scenarios. Understanding these can help you identify where you might be on this journey and why you’re feeling the way you do.

The first scenario is that your current path never truly aligned with your authentic self, but you pursued it anyway. This misalignment often results from external pressures, societal expectations, or a fear of not meeting others’ standards. You may have followed a career path to please your parents, chosen a lifestyle that impressed your peers, or pursued goals that looked good on paper but didn’t resonate with your true desires.

The second scenario is that your current situation once brought you fulfillment, but it no longer does. This shift can occur as your values, goals, and perspectives evolve over time. What once excited and motivated you may now feel stagnant or unfulfilling. Perhaps you’ve outgrown your current role, achieved the goals you set for yourself and now feel directionless, or simply changed as a person and need your life to reflect that growth.

Both scenarios can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, even in the face of outward success. Recognizing which scenario resonates with you is a crucial first step in addressing these feelings and moving towards a more fulfilling life.

Common Reasons Why You Can Be Successful and Still Not Be Happy

Diving deeper into specific reasons why you might feel successful but unfulfilled can provide further clarity. Your goals and values may have changed over time. The path you set for yourself in your 20s might not align with who you are in your 30s or 40s. It’s natural for priorities and desires to shift as we grow and gain new experiences.

Another reason could be that you’ve accomplished what you set out to do and are ready for a new challenge. Success can sometimes leave us feeling empty if we don’t have a new goal to strive for. The anticipation of achieving is often more exciting than the achievement itself, known as the hedonic treadmill – we often return to our baseline level of happiness after achieving something.

Sometimes, success doesn’t bring the feelings we anticipated. We might achieve a long-held goal only to find that the reality doesn’t match our expectations. This can leave us feeling confused and unsatisfied. The world around us can also change, impacting our job or life circumstances in ways we didn’t anticipate. The recent pandemic, for instance, caused many people to reevaluate their previously fulfilling careers.

Outside Pressures and Inner Conflicts

External pressures play a significant role in shaping our paths. You might have chosen your career to meet societal expectations rather than following your passions. Over time, this misalignment between your true desires and your chosen path can lead to profound dissatisfaction.

Internal pressures can be equally influential. I remember struggling to let go of my identity as a Yale-educated attorney when considering entrepreneurship. My law degree had become a protective symbol, proof of my success. But clinging to this identity was holding me back from pursuing a path that truly excited me.

The Importance of Self-Awareness

Understanding yourself – how you feel and why – is crucial. Self-awareness improves mental health, decision-making, and overall life satisfaction. It allows you to recognize when something isn’t working and gives you the power to make changes.

Consider this: How can you address an issue if you don’t first acknowledge its existence? It’s easy to convince yourself to stay on a path because you’re “supposed” to be happy, you’re “supposed” to feel good about your career because you’ve worked hard for it. But true fulfillment comes from aligning your life with your authentic self, not from meeting external expectations.

Steps Towards a More Fulfilling Life

Moving forward doesn’t mean you need to make drastic changes overnight. Life is long and meant to be explored. We live in an era of unprecedented opportunity and information, making it possible to pivot towards a more authentic path.

Give yourself permission to explore possibilities. It’s okay for this process to take time. My journey from lawyer to entrepreneur took three years of exploration and gradual shifts before I made a definitive change. Start small by exploring new interests or skills alongside your current path. Seek support from like-minded individuals or a coach to help navigate this journey.

Discover Your Next Chapter

If you’re ready to dive deeper into this journey of self-discovery and realignment, consider joining “Your Next Chapter.” This live workshop is designed to help you envision where you want to go and create a plan to get there.

In this workshop, we’ll go beyond concepts to practical application. We’ll work together to discover what a truly fulfilling life looks like for you, clarify your current values and desires, identify what’s truly important at this stage of your life, create a vision for your next chapter that aligns with your authentic self, and develop actionable steps to bring that vision to life.

Remember, it’s never too late to start the next chapter of your story. You have the power to create a life that not only looks successful on the outside but feels deeply fulfilling on the inside. It begins with acknowledging your current state, understanding your feelings, and taking that first step towards aligning your life with your true desires and values.

Click here to learn more and sign up for ‘Your Next Chapter’ workshop